Speeding down the highway, snow whipped past our car as we drove home away from Grandma’s house in Oregon. As we escaped the biting cold of the winter, our warm car provided a feeling that we were more accustomed to: the heat of Texas, our home. When it comes to vacations, my family was never much of the driving type; we preferred to travel comfortably by airplane, but only business class. But this time my parents, my 3 older brothers, my older sister, and I were crammed into our small van, and any open space we would have had was filled with luggage and presents from Christmas. Trying to obtain just a little extra room, all of us had taken off our seat belts. It’s not much of a surprise that everyone was annoyed with each other and attitudes were getting out of hand. Just as any other family, tempers and arguing seemed to take hold until mom decided she had had enough. “Kids! Just stop arguing! Turn on a movie and be quiet!” Fortunately, our car had a built-in TV so we each put on our wireless headsets and tuned each other out. “And Roark, you need to slow down. It’s dangerous on these roads.”
“Honey, we’ll be fine. We’ve got a schedule to keep.” One thing that’s important to know about my dad: he’s stubborn, ridiculously stubborn. Once he has his mind set on something, he’s not changing. So given the weather outside, no seat belts, and Dad’s stubbornness, it’s safe to say that our family was far from safe.
Things seemed to settle down nicely as we all watched Emperor’s New Groove. My wireless headset was uncomfortably tight on my ears so I pulled it off to adjust it. Once my headset was off, tuning everyone else out was hard and I couldn’t help but listen to what my mom was saying to my dad. “Roark, you really need to slow down. Look outside, it’s not safe.” Gazing out the window, I noticed that the snow had picked up and our car was now drowning in a sea of swirling white flakes.
“Sweetheart, I’m telling you,” my dad expressed in a hushed tone, “it’s not that icy outside.” My dad’s confidence worried me. Coming from Texas, I didn’t feel comfortable driving at this speed through a blizzard. I don’t like to interject when my dad and mom are arguing, but I couldn’t help it. I was scared.
“Dad, I really think you should slow down. I can’t see further than 10 feet in front of the car,” I added.
“It’s alright. I can drive through snow,” my dad reassured me. “Nothing’s going to happen. Go back to watching the movie.” Knowing that there was nothing I could say that would change my dad’s mind, I put my adjusted headphones back over my ears and once again escaped to my own world.
“Roark! Roark! Roark!” My mom’s screeches broke through my headset, pulling me out of my world and back into the car. Looking outside, there was no road and trees, were directly in front of us. “That’s weird,” I thought. “Why are driving towards trees?” Then I realized it, we were sliding sideways down the highway. The car kept turning until we were drifting backwards, facing the wrong way. In a frantic effort to get the car back to going straight, my dad whipped the other way on the wheel. The car spun all the way back around; it worked! Only too well though, as the car spun to the side again, but this time throwing us off the road. We tumbled down a small hill, only to get thrown up the other side of a bank. With so much momentum, our car barrel rolled up the bank until gravity pulled us back down, twisting us to a stop on our side. Because we hadn’t been wearing seat belts, we immediately crawled out of broken windows, and our family gathered on the side of the road. As we got out of the car my mom would grab each of us individually, asking, “are you alright?” Everyone was fine but no matter what response we gave her, she kept repeating, “oh, it’s because you’re in shock! You don’t know if you’re alright.”
As we waited for roadside assistance to show up, we began to walk around the car to see the damage that had incurred. Walking to the side that I had been sitting on, I found my headset buried in the snow with the ear covers disconnected, barely held together by the inside’s flimsy wires. This headset had been situated on my head before we began to tumble up and down the bank. Next thing I knew, it had been ripped off my head by the window’s broken glass. Within a few minutes, roadside assistance showed up and asked how we were feeling. “Lucky for you guys, I see accidents like these every day. Let’s get you guys somewhere where you can stay the night.” We piled into his large car as he took us to a small town called Willowpoke about 15 minutes away.
DANG. This story is intense. I really liked following it. The biggest problem is that it ends a little too suddenly.
ReplyDeleteYou did a good job explaining the accident and what happened.
You characterized your parents through the dialoge, but you may want to put some more descriptors in there.
Try to develop the central message a little more. I think it is about listening to your mom and obedience, but you may want to develop it more. Overall really good...and suspenseful. My favorite part was oh, it’s because you’re in shock! You don’t know if you’re alright.”
This is an amusing story, quite an unfortunate event. I like the dialog between your mom and dad, it fits well. I feel that it ends just randomly and I am unsure of the central message...drive safely in the snow? Listen to mother/wife? You do a good job with detail, it is pretty easy to visualize the story. Good job, I liked it.
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